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Note found in actress Jiah Khan suicide case
In the Jiah Khan alias Nafisa Khan suicide case, police have recovered a
note purportedly written by the actress speaking about her disturbed
relationship with her boyfriend Sooraj Pancholi.
The note was recovered Friday, an official said.
“Jiah Khan’s mother has handed over the note to us along with her statement. It will be scrutinized and legal opinion will be sought,” said Additional Commissioner of Police (West) Vishwas Nagre-Patil.
Sooraj is the son of actor-couple Aditya Pancholi and Zarina Wahab. A day after 25-year-old Jiah Khan’s suicide June 3, Sooraj was quizzed for several hours by police and allowed to go.
Police said they will seek expert help to verify Jiah’s handwriting in the letter, a notarised copy of which has been handed over to investigators.
It is not known when Jiah Khan had penned the note and how it was discovered by her family six days after her death.
Last Monday around midnight, Jiah was found hanging in her home in Sagar Sangeet building in the posh Juhu area of north-west Mumbai where she lived with her family.
The six-page note details Jiah’s strained relationship with Sooraj, alleging that he had cheated her though she trusted him.
“By the time you will be reading this letter, probably by then I won’t be there in this world,” the note is reported to have said, indicating that she had planned to end her life.
Here is the transcript of the note allegedly written by Jiah Khan:
“ I don’t know how to say this to you but I might as well now as I have nothing to lose. I’ve already lost everything. If you’re reading this I might have already left or about to leave. I am broken inside. You may not have known this but you affected me deeply to a point where I lost myself inloving you. Yet you tortured me everyday. These days I see no light I wake up not wanting to wake up. There was a time I saw my life with you, a future with you. But you shattered my dreams. I feel dead inside. I’ve never given so much of myself to someone or cared so much. You returned mylove with cheating and lies. It didn’t matter how many gifts I gave you or how beautiful I looked for you. I was scared of getting pregnant but I gave myself completely the pain you have caused me everyday has destroyed every bit of me, destroyed my soul. I can’t eat or sleep or think or function. I am running away from everything. The career is not even worth it anymore. When I first met you I was driven, ambitious and disciplined.Then I fell for you, a love I thought would bring out the best in me. I don’t know why destiny brought us together. After all the pain, the rape, theabuse, the torture I have seen previously I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t see any love or commitment from you. I just became increasingly scared that you would hurt me mentally or physically.Your life was about partying and women. Mine was you and my work. If I stay here I will crave you and miss you. So I am kissing my 10-yearcareer and dreams goodbye. I never told you but I received a message about you. About you cheating on me. I chose to ignore it, decided to trust you. You embarrassed me. I never went out, I never went with anyone else. I am a loyal person. I never met anyone with Karthik I just wanted youto feel how you make me feel constantly. No other woman will give you as much as I did or love you as much as I did. I can write that in my blood.Things were looking up for me here, but is it worth it when you constantly feel the pain of heartbreak when the person you love wants to abuse youor threatens o hit you or cheats on you telling other girls they are beautiful or throws you out of their house when you have no where to go and you’ve come to them out of love or when they lie to your face or they make you chase after them in their car. Or disrespects their family. You nevereven met my sister. I bought your sister presents. You tore my soul. I have no reason to breathe anymore. All I wanted was love. I did everything for you. I was working for us. But you were never my partner. My future is destroyed my happiness snatched away from me. I always wished the best for you, was ready to invest what little money I had in your betterment. You never appreciated my love, Kicked me in the face. I have no confidence orself esteem left, whatever talent whatever ambition you took it all away. You destroyed my life. It hurt me so much that I waited for you for ten daysand you didn’t bother buying me something. The Goa trip was my birthday present but even after you cheated I still spent on you. I aborted ourbaby when it hurt me deeply. You destroyed my Christmas and my birthday dinner when I came back. When I tried my hardest to make your birthdayspecial. You chose to be away from me on Valentines Day. You promised me once we made it to one year we would get engaged. All you want inlife is partying, your women and your selfish motives. All I wanted was you and my happiness you took both away from me. I spent money on youselflessly you would throw in my face. When I would cry for you. I have nothing left in this world to live for after this. I wish you had loved me like I loved you. I dreamt of our future. I dreamt f our success. I leave this place with nothing but broken dreams and empty promises. All I want now is togo to sleep and never wake up again. I am nothing. I had everything. I felt so alone even while with you. You made me feel alone and vulnerable. I am so much more than this”
“Jiah Khan’s mother has handed over the note to us along with her statement. It will be scrutinized and legal opinion will be sought,” said Additional Commissioner of Police (West) Vishwas Nagre-Patil.
Sooraj is the son of actor-couple Aditya Pancholi and Zarina Wahab. A day after 25-year-old Jiah Khan’s suicide June 3, Sooraj was quizzed for several hours by police and allowed to go.
Police said they will seek expert help to verify Jiah’s handwriting in the letter, a notarised copy of which has been handed over to investigators.
It is not known when Jiah Khan had penned the note and how it was discovered by her family six days after her death.
Last Monday around midnight, Jiah was found hanging in her home in Sagar Sangeet building in the posh Juhu area of north-west Mumbai where she lived with her family.
The six-page note details Jiah’s strained relationship with Sooraj, alleging that he had cheated her though she trusted him.
“By the time you will be reading this letter, probably by then I won’t be there in this world,” the note is reported to have said, indicating that she had planned to end her life.
Here is the transcript of the note allegedly written by Jiah Khan:
“ I don’t know how to say this to you but I might as well now as I have nothing to lose. I’ve already lost everything. If you’re reading this I might have already left or about to leave. I am broken inside. You may not have known this but you affected me deeply to a point where I lost myself inloving you. Yet you tortured me everyday. These days I see no light I wake up not wanting to wake up. There was a time I saw my life with you, a future with you. But you shattered my dreams. I feel dead inside. I’ve never given so much of myself to someone or cared so much. You returned mylove with cheating and lies. It didn’t matter how many gifts I gave you or how beautiful I looked for you. I was scared of getting pregnant but I gave myself completely the pain you have caused me everyday has destroyed every bit of me, destroyed my soul. I can’t eat or sleep or think or function. I am running away from everything. The career is not even worth it anymore. When I first met you I was driven, ambitious and disciplined.Then I fell for you, a love I thought would bring out the best in me. I don’t know why destiny brought us together. After all the pain, the rape, theabuse, the torture I have seen previously I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t see any love or commitment from you. I just became increasingly scared that you would hurt me mentally or physically.Your life was about partying and women. Mine was you and my work. If I stay here I will crave you and miss you. So I am kissing my 10-yearcareer and dreams goodbye. I never told you but I received a message about you. About you cheating on me. I chose to ignore it, decided to trust you. You embarrassed me. I never went out, I never went with anyone else. I am a loyal person. I never met anyone with Karthik I just wanted youto feel how you make me feel constantly. No other woman will give you as much as I did or love you as much as I did. I can write that in my blood.Things were looking up for me here, but is it worth it when you constantly feel the pain of heartbreak when the person you love wants to abuse youor threatens o hit you or cheats on you telling other girls they are beautiful or throws you out of their house when you have no where to go and you’ve come to them out of love or when they lie to your face or they make you chase after them in their car. Or disrespects their family. You nevereven met my sister. I bought your sister presents. You tore my soul. I have no reason to breathe anymore. All I wanted was love. I did everything for you. I was working for us. But you were never my partner. My future is destroyed my happiness snatched away from me. I always wished the best for you, was ready to invest what little money I had in your betterment. You never appreciated my love, Kicked me in the face. I have no confidence orself esteem left, whatever talent whatever ambition you took it all away. You destroyed my life. It hurt me so much that I waited for you for ten daysand you didn’t bother buying me something. The Goa trip was my birthday present but even after you cheated I still spent on you. I aborted ourbaby when it hurt me deeply. You destroyed my Christmas and my birthday dinner when I came back. When I tried my hardest to make your birthdayspecial. You chose to be away from me on Valentines Day. You promised me once we made it to one year we would get engaged. All you want inlife is partying, your women and your selfish motives. All I wanted was you and my happiness you took both away from me. I spent money on youselflessly you would throw in my face. When I would cry for you. I have nothing left in this world to live for after this. I wish you had loved me like I loved you. I dreamt of our future. I dreamt f our success. I leave this place with nothing but broken dreams and empty promises. All I want now is togo to sleep and never wake up again. I am nothing. I had everything. I felt so alone even while with you. You made me feel alone and vulnerable. I am so much more than this”
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